Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Other Girl!

Here is my attempt to short story writing after my dad urged me to do so.
This is what i could come up with , Dad!

Disclaimer : This is a work of pure fiction and creativity , although it might be possible that such could happen in real life , it wasn't intended to harm anyone or induce any new thoughts into anyone.
This story contains some content for the 18+ categories and i hope the parents would understand that youth in the present age is aware of "EVERYTHING".

So here it goes ,



On a rainy evening , sitting beside the small portico which stood on 4 logs of wood and in the abyss of darkness , was an 18 year old girl , Akanksha her name. The only source of illumination was in the form of a candle. These frequent power cuts in her community was common , only that an hour of continuous electricity was seen as a gift which their god had given them after continuous goodwill. This was the scenario. Born in the village , her parents couldn’t provide her with the basic amenities , the reason , them being uneducated. But they did their best to send her to the city to make her study in an English medium school. She stuttered at start but she did cope up with the language and almost made it to the top 5 in her class , though never first. She was quite elder to her fellow classmates as she was joined to the school 2 years later than usual.
It was winter vacation for the 11th grade and of course the whole school in this small hill station called Darjeeling. Ever since her childhood , Akanksha used to spend her time gazing into the darkness dreaming about various things. The only time she used up in studying was during class hours and after school she used sit for hours together till the sun went down because after sunset , the whole village was in darkness.
One fine day, a team of teachers from Kolkata visited the school in search of budding talents , and they conducted tests and interviews out of which Akanksha was selected. The team visited her home the same evening asking her parents for their permission to allow her to study in Kolkata. Foreseeing the bright future shown to them, they agreed and she packed her bags and left after the usual emotional drama expected out of a normal Indian family.
St.Louis Convent Girl’s School, the board read atop the gate in front of which Akanksha stood pondering about what this has in store for her. Shy in nature, she never used to speak up herself unless questioned. Her luggage was safely kept in the hostel and she was introduced to her roommate.
Her roommate, Sophie, was the daughter of the rich NRI parents who strayed her into this school and went back to their foreign land. Both of them, who never used to talked to anyone properly, never had a relationship with anyone ,now gelled pretty well and became the best of friends. They went out together, studied together, etc, etc. It was time for the 11th grade annual exams or the board exams and studies started in full swing and the exams went by quite quickly.
Now that summer time arrived, the time for enjoyment in the hostel, no one desired to go home, not even akanksha who’d completely forgotten about her parents, who sacrificed so much to make her study , but they too didn’t bother much , thought not to disturb her studies.
So , one evening , as Sophie was browsing the internet in her laptop gifted by her parents , she stumbled upon something ,something that was different , never seen before , and she called upon her roomie to see it too. As they gazed on to the screen with total interest and without any clue on what it was, their hormones started generating fluids which induced extra “unexplainable” feelings and they shut the laptop unable to bear this sudden rift in their thought process and went to bed.
Both of them, as usual, started dreaming as to what it was, and made crazy assumptions. The next morning, they woke up and opened the laptop, the page was still there. They tried imitating the same thing and the feeling was ecstatic. They used their fingers to do marvels onto each other.
This legacy continued for subsequent nights and became a habit and a secret that they shared, what they didn’t know was that they were distinct from the usual people. Now that the vacation got over and the all important 12th grade started and even though their normal routine of studies continued, they still imbibed this into it. As they stepped out of their hostel every Saturday night , they moved together , went into bars and restaurants and behaved so closely that everyone had their eyes on them , and the pleasure that they derived from looking at these angels was something indescribable.
One day, two guys in a restaurant went up to them and started talking normally, they became friends and asked them whether they could drop them back at their hostels and since these girls were fresh and tender in meeting people, they quickly agreed thinking that these were nice people what they didn’t know was that they were falling into one terrible trap.
As the boys took them in their posh, stylish and effulgent SUV, they first went into their homes and the girls followed. They treated the girls with drinks and snacks and showed them the house. When they reached the bedroom, one of the guys locked the door from behind and pushed them onto the bed. The other said, “Now let’s see what you girls do every day!” Thinking that it was what normal people do, the girls did their normal and this time they were at their best. Seduced by just seeing this, the guys couldn’t bear and undressed themselves and went down on them. The girl felt pain at first but after that it was “ecstasy”. The guys had the whole thing recorded and their new video update for their site was done for the week.
One sudden day , in the newspaper , Akanksha read the headline “ Two guys found brutally murdered” with the photo of the guys whom they had met the other night. She showed it to Sophie and both of them gazed at each other’s face , not knowing what happened. Unlike Sophie , her roommate was in shock and the trepidation dehydrated her.
Sophie, on the other hand was browsing something important on her laptop , it was a stylish macbook , the computer everyone wants to possess. She comes across another new hangout opened in Kolkata and she takes Akanksha to the place to cool her off. This time, as they ate , a man came across their table and asked permission to dine with them , though Akanksha was in no mood to speak to another stranger , Sophie welcomed him onto the table. They had a nice chat and he offered to walk them to their hostel. In the interim, they found a park and they decided to have a stroll. As they reached the corner most place, where no movement was there, the man decides to force him into Sophie and unable neither to digest the news nor the beautiful Sophie in front of her , Akanksha decides to join the duo. After they were done, the girls returned back to their hostels. Two days later , Akanksha finds the photo of the same man they were with the other night all covered with blood in the newspaper. Now , that things started to get suspicious , Akanksha started doubting her roomie , as she is the only person to have known the people apart from her and it is always she who allowed others to mingle with them and she who took the first step.
So , one day when Sophie had gone out , Akanksha sneaked into her laptop to find all the plots and ways to kill people without fingerprints and all the other stuff. All this baffled Akanksha as her eyes popped out almost , she shut it down and went to the window sill , reminiscent of her childhood , pondering over why she was doing this.
One night , after their usual routine stuff , Sophie shares something that happened in her childhood and that added to already increasing worry stuff on Akanksha’s head. She was sexually abused by her father and his friends when she was young and her mother had died. Hence , her belief on all guys was lifted off. She went on to kill her dad in what seemed like a suicide and further went on to join this school after the pitiful sight seen by the headmistress.
But what had this got to do with , her killing of the people who provided her with pleasure. This was what Akanksha had wondered her whole sleepless night. She then decided to stop all this by killing Sophie , the next time they made out. And so , that is what happened , when Sophie seemed to enjoy her reaching the zenith , Akanksha quickly stabbed a knife in between her legs and after that , Sophie breathed her last.
The next morning , the headmistress found the dead Sophie in a red coloured mattress artistically painted with her blood and no clue of where Akanksha was.
But , there was this another girl , who was having her laugh , the murderer , the secret admirer of Akanksha , the one who was smitten by her looks , who couldn’t resist the seduction , it was she who killed the 3 guys where Sophie had nothing to do with it. As the search continued for the fled Akanksha, this girl knew exactly where she was going and wouldn’t mind being her next partner.

11 comments:

Siddharth said...

Bravo!
A story worthy of Sidney Sheldon's style, if not, only better. It reminds me of the short stories of Roald Dahl and Anton Chekov.

Varun said...

Thanks a ton da!!

To all readers , Sid is my best critic and he will ever be.

Hope to come up with more of them depending upon the people's responses!

Harish said...

Very good da

got a story for our movie....
almost hitchcock

just tht its a little predictable da

Ramper said...

Pretty cool dude...
keep it up!

ҳҲҳ κคя†เκ ҳҲҳ said...

wow da... i dint know you write stories.. take care of tenses in some places vs. other then that the story was on par with the professionals..
GREAT WORk!!! KEEP IT UP!!

Anonymous said...

THAT IS ONE HECK OF A STORY ...
i hope ur mom and dad read it soon...lol
great story ...
bye
sud

Anonymous said...

and kp its "other than that " not " other then that "

Anonymous said...

awesome dude!
let me know the reaction of ur mom n dad!:D
Keep writing..you've great imagination and writing skills!
Keep up the good work :)

Viney

Karthick said...

hai pal ... this is karthick ... sudharshan's classmate in REC ... your story ... that was an amazing one man ... but the story is too strong to tell it in just a single page ... great work dude ...

Anonymous said...

hey!!
GREAT WORK VARUN! superb story with a very very apt title! :)
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK...

ramya

Phenoxis said...

well, for starters, i wasn't sure where the story was actually headed.
second, in such stories, perhaps you should delve more into intricate details rather than do it movie-like
- skipping scene to scene.
ofcourse, it is a short story, so there isn't much you can be detailed about without removing the 'short' tag, but yeah, maybe you could've expanded certain sections of it.

i thought of a few more, but fell asleep soon after reading and didn't remember much when i got up.

oh and, you could use some fancy words in some places.
i was also pleased to find some words that are not part of the common usage.